When we hear the phrase birth trauma, most people immediately think of the mother. While it’s true that the birthing person often carries the most direct impact, they’re not the only ones who can experience trauma. Birth trauma can affect partners, family members, and even those who don’t identify with traditional ideas of motherhood.
The truth is: anyone who is present during a difficult or frightening birth may be impacted by it. Let’s explore who might be affected and why it matters.
Birth Trauma and Mothers
For many mothers, birth trauma comes from feeling out of control, unsupported, or scared during labour. Medical complications, interventions, or dismissive treatment can leave lasting emotional wounds. These experiences may lead to flashbacks, anxiety, difficulty bonding with the baby, or even postnatal PTSD.
But focusing only on mothers tells only part of the story.
Birth Partners and Fathers
Birth partners, whether they are fathers, spouses, relatives, or friends, are often witnesses to events that feel frightening and overwhelming. Watching someone you love in pain or distress, and feeling powerless to help, can be traumatic in itself.
Many partners feel guilty for not being able to “fix” the situation, or they may replay moments of fear long after the birth. They might also hide their own feelings, believing that their distress is less important than the mother’s. In reality, their emotions are valid too, and they deserve support.
Family Members and Witnesses
Grandparents, siblings, or close friends who are present during a traumatic birth can also be affected. Witnessing unexpected complications, emergency procedures, or distressing events can leave emotional marks that shouldn’t be ignored.
LGBTQ+ Parents and Families
For LGBTQ+ parents, birth trauma can carry additional layers. The journey to parenthood is often complex, and experiences of discrimination, lack of understanding, or assumptions made by professionals can deepen feelings of trauma.
- Non-birthing parents in same-sex relationships may feel invisible in the process, especially if their fears or emotions aren’t acknowledged.
- Trans and non-binary parents may encounter misgendering, lack of inclusive care, or dismissal of their identities, which can intensify distress.
- LGBTQ+ families may also face anxiety around acceptance and support in healthcare settings, compounding the impact of a traumatic birth.
Recognising these unique experiences is vital. Birth trauma therapy should be inclusive, affirming, and sensitive to the needs of all parents, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
When we widen the conversation about birth trauma, we reduce stigma and create space for more people to seek help. Trauma doesn’t discriminate – it can affect anyone in the birthing room. By validating the experiences of mothers, partners, LGBTQ+ parents, and witnesses, we make healing possible for everyone.
How Therapy Can Help with Birth Trauma
Whether you gave birth, supported someone through it, or witnessed events that were hard to process, therapy can provide:
- A safe, understanding environment to share your story
- Validation that your feelings are real and important
- Support to manage flashbacks, anxiety, or guilt
- Tools to help you rebuild confidence and emotional wellbeing
No matter your role in the birth experience, if you are struggling, you deserve support.
Final Thoughts
Birth trauma isn’t limited to mothers. Partners, LGBTQ+ parents, and witnesses can all carry emotional scars from a traumatic birth.
If this resonates with you, please know that your experience is valid and that help is available.
If you’d like a safe, supportive space to talk about what you’ve been through, I can help. Get in touch to discuss counselling with me.