How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps with Self Harm

Understanding what lies beneath the surface

If you’re living with self harm, it might feel confusing and isolating. Many people describe feeling trapped in a cycle, trying to manage intense emotions or pain through self harm, then feeling guilt or shame afterwards. Psychodynamic therapy offers a way to gently explore what’s happening beneath the surface of these patterns and begin to understand the emotions driving them.

Rather than focusing only on the behaviour, psychodynamic counselling helps you explore the meaning behind it. It’s not about blame or judgement, but about curiosity and compassion; working together to uncover how your past experiences (in adulthood and/or childhood) and relationships may be shaping your feelings and actions today.

Looking at the Roots, Not Just the Symptoms

Self harm is often a sign of inner distress. It may be a way of coping with emotions that feel too painful or too big to express, or of managing feelings of emptiness, guilt, or self-criticism. Psychodynamic therapy looks at how these patterns have developed over time, often tracing back to early relationships and experiences that have influenced how you see yourself and others.

In therapy, you might begin to recognise links between how you felt cared for (or not cared for) in the past and how you respond to emotional pain now. Understanding these connections can be an important step toward change.

The Therapeutic Relationship as a Path to Healing

One of the central parts of psychodynamic therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. The therapy room becomes a space where you can safely explore feelings that might have been hidden, dismissed, or misunderstood in other parts of your life.

Sometimes, the emotions that arise in therapy mirror patterns from past relationships; feelings of not being heard, fear of rejection, or needing to hide certain parts of yourself. When these experiences are understood and worked through within a safe, consistent relationship, they can begin to heal.

This is why psychodynamic therapy can be particularly powerful for people who self harm: it provides a different kind of relationship, one based on acceptance and understanding, which helps you develop a kinder, more stable sense of self.

Making Sense, Not Demands

Psychodynamic counselling is not about being told to stop self harming or being given quick fixes. Instead, it’s a process of making sense of what’s happening inside you.

Over time, you might find that you find gentler ways of caring for yourself.

Beginning Therapy for Self Harm

If you have or feel like you might harm yourself right now, you need urgent medical attention. Call 999 and ask for an ambulance, go to A&E, call your crisis team or your GP.