The Therapeutic Relationship for Clients Starting Therapy for the First Time

Starting therapy, especially for the first time, can feel daunting. You might wonder what to expect, whether you’ll connect with your therapist, or how the process actually works. These questions are entirely normal. At the heart of psychodynamic therapy is the therapeutic relationship, a steady, supportive space that helps you explore your inner world at your own pace.

This relationship isn’t something you have to “get right”. It’s something that develops over time, shaped by the conversations you bring, the feelings that arise, and the way you and your therapist work together. Understanding the role of this relationship can make the first steps into therapy feel a little clearer, and hopefully a little less intimidating.

Why the therapeutic relationship matters in Psychodynamic Therapy

In psychodynamic therapy, the relationship you build with your therapist is not just a setting for the work, it is the work. The way you relate to others, manage emotions, or navigate challenges often shows up in the therapy room too. This is not a problem. In fact, it’s expected. It gives both of us a chance to understand your patterns more deeply and compassionately.

For first-time therapy clients, this can feel like an adjustment. You may be used to holding things together for others, minimising your needs, or carefully managing your emotions. Therapy offers a different kind of space: one where you don’t have to do that.

Building trust at your own pace

Trust doesn’t have to be immediate. Therapy is not about revealing everything at once; it’s about coming to understand yourself better over time. During the early sessions, many people:

• Take time to settle into the space
• Notice feelings of uncertainty or self-consciousness
• Test whether the therapist feels safe and attuned (“do they get me?”)
• Wonder what is expected of them

All of this is part of starting therapy. You and your therapist don’t force trust – you build it gradually, moment by moment, through being heard, understood, and taken seriously.

What the first sessions often feel like

Your first sessions are usually about getting to know each other. You don’t need to prepare anything or have clear “goals”. Instead, we begin by talking about what brings you to therapy, and what life looks like for you right now. Some people feel relieved; others feel unsure or even overwhelmed.

Psychodynamic therapy places emphasis on understanding your emotional experience, not just what is happening in your life, but how it feels. In the early weeks, you might notice:

• A sense of unfamiliarity
• Curiosity or apprehension
• Relief that you finally have a space of your own
• Feelings surfacing that you weren’t expecting

This is all part of settling in.

How therapy helps if you have past trauma or difficult experiences

For clients with past trauma, entering therapy for the first time can feel especially vulnerable. The therapeutic relationship becomes a place where your emotional responses are respected and handled gently. You are not pushed to talk before you’re ready. Instead, your therapist helps you build the foundations of safety, grounding, and understanding before exploring deeper experiences.

The consistency of weekly sessions, clear boundaries, and a reliable therapeutic presence are all part of how psychodynamic therapy supports trauma recovery. You don’t have to be “brave” or “strong”. You just have to turn up, and together, you and your therapist take it from there.

How the therapeutic relationship develops over time

As therapy progresses, you may notice:

• Feeling more comfortable expressing emotions
• Becoming more honest about what you think or need
• Recognising patterns in your relationships
• Feeling supported but also gently challenged
• Allowing yourself to take up space

Over time, the therapeutic relationship becomes a place where you can be your full, unedited self. That experience alone can be healing.

Common Questions from First-Time Therapy Clients

Do I have to tell my whole story right away?

No. You share what feels manageable. Therapy unfolds gradually.

What if I feel embarrassed, anxious or unsure?

Most people do in the beginning. These feelings are welcome in the room—they give us valuable clues about your inner world.

What if I don’t connect with my therapist immediately?

A connection often develops slowly. What matters is feeling safe, respected and listened to.

What if I’m worried about being judged?

A core principle of psychodynamic therapy is non-judgement. You are free to bring whatever is true for you.

What if I’ve had therapy before and it didn’t work?

Every therapeutic relationship is different. It’s absolutely okay to try again, at your own pace.

If You’re Thinking About Starting Therapy

Beginning therapy is a significant step, and it’s natural to have questions.